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DJ
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The day that reality and nightmares met -
North Andover, Massachusetts, USA Th, Sep 11, 03
I was a Junior at the North Andover high school. I was sitting in a computer lab, I still remember the exact computer I sat at. I heard an announcement over the intercom saying that two towers were hit by planes. I didn't really have too much knowledge about the World Trade Center towers then. I thought that maybe they were radio towers or something less significant. I went to my next class to take a test, and while I was taking the test, the school authorities set up TV's in the school library and gymnasium. Right after I was done the test, I went downstairs, and I couldnt believe my eyes. It looked like something that people use thousands of dollars to create in action movies. I thought to myself "This is actually happening right this second 200 miles southwest of me." I started thinking really hard about it. I didn't want to believe it. I left school with a few friends early and I just walked around my neighborhood for a while. I felt like I was in a dream. I knew it was unrealistic to slap myself out of it, so I just kept hoping that maybe I would wake up and say "It was only a nightmare" There was no way that two planes with thousands of gallons of jet fuel crashed and exploded into the two towers and eventually causing them to collapse. But it was true. It was the longest day of my life. That one tuesday felt like probably 3 or 4 days long. Night fell, and I never felt so much grief. Then something popped into my mind. I decided that I was actually going to go to New York City to help with something, I didn't care how. I just wanted to contribute in some way. I started talking to people about it. And other people shared my feelings, I finally agreed with two people I know, that we would go down. But it never happend. They never got around to it. I started losing hope. And here I am. Two years later. I still feel Hopeless to this day that I never got to directly help with the disaster. Does anyone out there know how I feel? I never wanted anything more bad than to help and be a part of the help in manhattan. I would have given up almost anything for it. Dont get me wrong. Im proud to be an American, but for some reason I just cant feel the certain pride that i would if i had gotten more involved. September 11 has deffinitely changed the way I think about things. For weeks on end after september 11, i felt bad living in a warm house, eating good food, sleeping in a soft bed. I couldn't do the normal things with myself knowing what had happend and with the possibility that there are trapped people underneath the rubble. I couldnt watch anything on TV that didnt have to do with the attacks. I couldnt go about watching the usual comedy things I liked like seinfeld, or any other shows. I felt I had to stay tuned into the the latest ground zero news. I wanted to be a part of it. It has also made me feel lucky that I am alive, especially knowing that people lose their lives every day. And on days like september 11, people didnt even see it coming. People went into the 110 story office buildings like any other day. They had no idea that they would become one of the 3,200 people that would lose their lives becase hijackers took planes and aimed them at the buildings. People need to realize that life is a valuble thing, and that no one knows when it will be gone. People cant just expect to die when they get old. It is the leading cause of death, but then you get into diseases like cancer. But you may not even think of that. You may experience a car accident that makes you realize how lucky you are. Some people even die in their sleep with no cause or reason. Our lifespans are very unpredictable. Live Life to the best. Live each day if it were your last. If the people in the world trade center knew they were all going to die, im sure they would all wish one thing, and that is that they could have lived their lives up till their death. I think every breath is a miracle. God doesnt need to keep giving them to us. Never take it for granted. Thats my story of sept 11. If theres anyone out there that would like to e mail me. Please do. And if anyone knows if ground zero needs any sort of help whatsoever, please let me know. Thanks for reading this all. Keep America in your prayers. God bless all of you.
~dj
Th, Sep 11, 03
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